This shit has got to end. It's fucking with my sleep, my ability to do my job, trumpet practice is right out the window, and I'm shaky as hell when I get up in the morning.
I was much worse when I was drinking hard liquor in the past. Some of the shit I was drinking was Chinese and something like 120 proof.
Red wine was really tearing up my insides so it was a good move to change to Chardonnay. Plus it's got less sugar in it than the sake I was on in a more recent drinking period. The Guinness I recently had was tasty and Guinness is only 4.5% alcohol.
I'm very glad that I have figured out what was giving me those awful headaches. To be free of them in exchange for swearing off chocolate is, to me, the deal of the century.
I also, the last time I dried out from drinking, told myself that in exchange I could drink all the coffee I like. I was drinking 4-5 big mugs of coffee a day. Now I'm just having one mug of Elite with cream and since I've used up the last of the cream I'll very happily drink a mug of Japanese green tea tomorrow. Other than that no soda, or anything like that, I'm just having ice water with a little lemon juice.
So other than being on white wine, I've made some real improvements in my life. And since I'm on wine rather than, say, Stoli, I think the taper can go pretty well.
In other news it was really nice just hanging out with Tom and his wife, Ronvig (if I'm spelling it right). She was fairly appalled that my family is all so separate, and that my older sister won't even talk to me. She's said, "In Iceland people do things together and here, people do things alone".
It took a great deal of effort for me to simply finish the load of laundry I had soaking, and I'm not going out anywhere. I'm shaky as hell and am taking small sips of wine, but there's really no way out of this other than being miserable for about 3 days.
I've got a lot of things to pack too ... what fun. If Ken comes by tonight I might see if he can take whatever things I get packed to the post office and FedEx tomorrow. Then I might have a load of stuff also, but between the two of us we can get caught up on shipping.
At least I've got plenty of instant miso soup, and cheese, and veggies and things.
There's a great interview with Yo-Yo Ma on the radio right now and it's made me realize why I dove so hard into the wine. It's the situation with my older sister. For decades I'd thought that all I'd have to do is go back to Hawaii or least wait a decade or two and she'd want to be back in communication.
Well I can see now that it's not the case. I thought that, being 5 years younger and a lot more athletic, I could be around for my older sister as she ages and needs help with things. I'd seen a couple of times in the past how petty and mean she can be, and I guess not all people mellow with age.
She might be barely holding things together with her migraines and just can't deal with anything extra in her life by this point. She might have become a raging Republican. She was a lot less "left" than she thought of herself as, a couple of decades ago. And very, very petty. She could be a raging Republican by now.
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