Tuesday, April 30, 2024

My Passover just about passed over.

 I drank too much wine and went to bed I dunno, 1-2AM somewhere in there. I actually woke up and got up around 10, so I'm inching it back by an hour a day which is what is suggested for people who need to adjust their sleep/awake schedule. 

Adjusting my schedule is hard, but I'll keep it up. I'm missing out on temple activities, farmer's markets to busk at, anything like going to a doctor or getting a much-needed new pair of glasses. Ken can get by with a night-owl schedule because he's got his wife to do things for him during the day plus sometimes he just does get up, although I suspect he just stays up all night to make that 9AM doctor's appointment or something. 

I felt very unmotivated plus feel like shit from drinking too much wine. So that's another thing I need to work on. 

I looked at r/hawaii on Reddit and learned that Hawaii's the first state to, as a state, call for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza so Hamas can regroup and kill more Jews later. At least in the comments, most people see Hamas for the shitbirds they are, but seriously fuck that place. 

I wrote two letters I'd been thinking of writing, one to Yu-Ai-Kai to take me off of their mailing list because I hate to see them wasting stamps on sending things to me when I've not paid the dues for years and have not been doing any of the things. 

The 2nd letter was much heavier. First, I dug into my "papers" box, whoo boy do I need to go through and organize that thing. I wanted to find my DD-214 from when I was in a Reserve unit, the 442nd. Yes, *that* 442nd. I could not find that, only my later DD-214 from my time in a regular unit. But wow, did I find stuff! Tons on the paternal side of my family which I think my older sister might want, so I have solid reason to call my lawyer-in-law tomorrow, which I'd planned to anyway but now I have a much bigger reason to do so. 

But back to that 2nd letter .... I looked at the history of the 442nd and yes, it was a reserve unit at Fort DeRussy from 1969 until it was reactivated for a while to fight in the Middle East in the 90s or so, so I did not get the unit number wrong or imagine it all or something. 

The letter was to Rinban Sakamoto, saying I no longer want to be a member of the sangha as I do not agree with the BCA stance of neutrality regarding Israel and Hamas. I then elaborated on how when WWII broke out, many were neutral, some joined the US Army and thus the 442nd was formed, and some even sided with Japan. I said the price of being neutral was often being sent to a camp etc. so neutrality meant paying a price. So I respect the stance of neutrality, and likewise even respect the stance of those whose sympathies were with the home country. 

But that is not my stance, I went on. My stance is with the country that may be the home country of some of my ancestors, Israel. And that I'd joined another religious organization that shares me stance. And lastly I thanked him for the good times, good food, nice people, and said I'll miss the smell of the incense in the temple, as I did grow up in Hawaii after all. 

Somewhere in there I mentioned being in the 442nd myself, and how in recent years I'd read a lot about it and about the controversy, much less publicized, in WWII. The 442nd had taken a side and so have I. I think it's a damn good letter. I could have just sent something quick like "take me off your membership list, please." Or stopped in at the office and said, "I quit". But I wanted to say this, I wanted to make a point. 

Maybe my letter will be passed around a bit. Or maybe not. 

I no longer miss my older sister so much. When you're the hated "haole" in Hawaii you treasure every friend, but from age 18 I was always completely on my own. If I couldn't pay my rent or buy food that was my problem, because in American culture everyone's apart; everyone's on their own. My older sister was someone I could talk to, but I've found for real advice she's not really a good source. 

The last time I pal'd around with her in Hawaii, it was expensive lunched in the dining room at Neiman-Marcus, and her agonizing over whether to buy a certain $400 purse. I told her to check on their return policy, buy the damn thing, and wear it around for a day or two and if she turns not to not like it, just return it. She'd probably pay a 15% restocking fee but big whoop. 

I didn't know about the low-carb diet back then and was at her apartment and asked if she had anything to eat. She had some boneless/skinless sardines and I said that would be fine, and she snapped that I could not have them because I'd called them "Fussellian". (We'd talked about Paul Fussell's book "Class" years before.) So she'd harbored this little grudge for all those years. 

Plus she was always saying cringe-y things like "We're not a democracy, we're a republic" which just happens to not only be not true, but is a standard right-wing quip. And when I said I was reading about artists like Van Gogh and Renoir (a library is your best friend when you're young and broke) she said something like, "Those artists were all sex fiends". 

I'm just not sure we have that much in common. She's been poor, but when I last was around her in '03 she (her husband) was doing pretty well, and now they're doing great. My life, riding around on a bike and making $20k a year and saving almost half of it, would seem pretty foreign to someone who spends $600 a month on fresh cut flowers. 

But I want to tell my lawyer-in-law that he's a stand-up guy for hearing me out, that I'm probably not returning to Hawaii, and to see if I can send the big wad of papers and photos I have of our paternal line, to her. Her or my brother Alan which my lawyer-in-law surely has an address for. 

This is what Passover is about. Leaving Egypt but also leaving your own personal Egypt. If I moved to Hawaii I'd be right back in the same set of annoyances and genuine dangers I was before. There were probably those who didn't go with Moses (the majority in fact) who thought Well, it's slavery but we've been OK for 400 years here in Egypt, better the devil you know, etc. 

I packed 16 things ranging from large to small, and left at my usual time, 6. I fought the wind up there to the P.O., dropped packages off, then to FedEx, gave them a couple, then found packing stuff on the way home and got back here. Then re-configured the bike, took the trailer off and the bungee cords in the bag replaced by my big chain, and headed back out. 

I locked the bike at H Mart and the idea was to go to Sprouts and get a box of wine. I had a bit over $4.50 in change and $18 in bills. But on the walk over, I realized I ought to look in HomeGoods for some kind of serving dish or bowl or something for the chocolate  coins I'm taking to the dinner on Friday. It had to be: durable because it's going to be carried in the bike bag, cheap, attractive, big enough to hold 50 bags of chocolate coins, but not so big as to take up too much room on the table. I found one for a bit over $6 made of molded bamboo, perfect. 

Then I went to Sprouts for my box of wine, and had enough to get an onion too. I wasn't sure if I had one here at home (I did). I was checked out by the gal with constellation tattoos and my jokes like "Don't want to have an onion emergency!" got some laughs. Since I started learning on Reddit how awful some people are to checkers, I try to be as nice as I can without seeming weird. 

I got back here and had a can of herring, as I was starving (effect of the matzo brei which of course has carbs). 


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