Late practice makes for late days

60th day sober. I'm going to keep this tally going at least a year, because since I moved to the mainland, I don't think I've gone a whole year without alcohol once. Even after my drinking had gotten bad and I realized I needed to quit, I don't think I lasted a year dry. 

Being sober pretty much rocks. I have things happen, like not being able to find something I really need to send out, bum me out but I don't get those depths of despair I did when I was drinking. There's a fundamental level of optimism - as if there's anything to be optimistic about these days - that buoys me up. 

I didn't list things last night but put a ton of things away and re-arranged stuff and so on, and that was a fair amount of work. 

I got a good practice in along with half-watching "The Winds Of War" on YouTube. Anything very recent on there has tons of commercials, fucked-up sound, or both. So it's lots of old movies and things like art history for me. 

The exercises are getting easier as I strengthen. I worked through the next page in the Rubank book and I can see why the Rubank series is so well-recommended. If a person can work through it, they'll be a pretty accomplished player. My practice was over an hour.

I'm really itching to get out busking this weekend.  I've spent about $120 of this last paycheck and I want to get where I'm only spending $100 of each paycheck and can still buy what I want or need. Busking would make this entirely possible. 

I was up until past 7AM with the practicing, and as a consequence woke up a bit past 3 in the afternoon. 

For some reason the toilet's not flushing and I'm putting nothing solid down it. I can kind of plunge down the level of water, but I dunno what's going on. I've theorized that the machine shop we share a water circuit with is using water for cooling one of their machines and that's making flushing not really work because of the "exit" water circuit being over-taxed, but it seems the machine shop has a hot contract or something because they seem to be running 24/7. 

I'm not sure what to do because besides the routine shitting and pissing issues, when I do laundry I dump my wash water down the toilet and with it not working right that makes laundry harder too. I'm thinking I'll dump my wash water into a bucket then empty that out front. And due to living in the old building for years, shitting into a plastic bag is something I have down to a fine art. This is living in Silicon Valley, folks! When I was a broke-ass student back in Hawaii or even before that, a marginally-surviving minimum wage worker, I still had a working loo and a daily shower. 

 

Is this how summer is going to be?

 59th day sober. I was up until something like 6:30 AM listing 20 Ebay things, then got some practice in, but then the guys next door started making noise, rolling their door up etc., I decided to get to bed, since there's really not supposed to be someone in here making trumpet noises.... That being said, as long as I keep the practice up, I am building up the higher notes... 

I feel like Ebay is dying under its own weight. It used to be a mediator, between the buyer and the seller and as a seller, if I didn't take care of my customers they'd let me know, and the feedback system enforces that. Now, it's Ebay nagging us if we don't ship things out quickly, and making our sales go down because I think it makes us show up lower in searches. And for some reason the feedback system is broken and I can't leave feedback. 

All I can hope is that Ebay holds together well enough for me to keep existing here for the next 3 years and save up money, and that overall, society is still intact enough for me to get back home. 

Hot weather... I feel like a genius for having bought that fan, because it is, like good old Governor Ariyoshi, quiet and effective. And who knows fans may be sold out by now. There's no shortage of fans around here though - a big oscillating fan, an oversized Hercules muffin-type fan, no end of equipment fans etc. But this one was plug in and go, no special wiring needed and doesn't take up much space. 

The barley tea I bought a box of on a whim is a win also. I did the math - twice because I didn't believe it at first - and it comes out to something like 31c a liter. And it tastes good. 

The Delta strain of the virus is a worry now, so that's another thing making this summer interesting. NPR ran an article recently, drawing from a new study showing the covid deaths in the US may be more like 900k, or close to a million. To keep to the model of the 1918 flu, we "need" to lose 2 million people and the virus to be rampant not only through this summer but the next also. Then like the 1918 flu it needs to mysteriously fizzle out. 

I took things to the post office and FedEx, collected some boxes on the way back, had a couple of boiled eggs and some banana chips I'd bought at the African store, and busied myself packing some things and putting things away until Ken came by. 

I got my check and Ken found the missing thing in a short time, and I packed it up right away. Better late than never! Ken and I BS'd until about 11:30 then he took off.

A big load to the post office

 58th day sober. I was up, practicing, until about 7:30AM but the practice went well. I think the Rubank exercises are doing me some good, and I'm sounding better on them. A funny thing: I oiled the valves and didn't get #3 back in with the proper alignment so it was a bit off. I noticed D below the sounding markedly non-resonant and my attack on lower notes not as distinct as it should be, then finally noticed the mis-aligned valve and re-aligned it. Then things sounded fine. 

I found myself able to do some nice high C's and some notes above. A thing I've noticed happening a few times is, if I have a layoff, even a long one, if I just randomly pick up a horn I can do high C etc easily, but I have no endurance and if I get back to practicing daily I lose those high notes for a while then regain them.  It's like any athletic endeavor. 

I also got a load of laundry done since I was pretty much out of clean clothes. If I'd just do one load a week I think I'd gradually get caught up on all my washing. 

I took off for the post office and FedEx around 6 as usual, dropped things off, found a few packing materials, checked on Tom's place, and got back here and had some egg salad. 

I then packed some Ebay things and looked for a thing I can't find. Later I asked Ken if he can come over Tuesday night and help me look for it - I really want to avoid canceling the order if I can. 

I just see Ebay getting worse and worse in the same way everything else is getting worse and worse. But if things can hold together for 3 more years that's OK with me.

Another stay-in weekend I guess

 57th day sober. I didn't practice last night, figuring that if I'm going to get back into busking, I should practice about the same time in the 24-hour cycle I'm going to busk. So, in the evening. 

Staying in and relaxing for the weekend turns out to be a mistake, it turns out. Ebay has decided to jack our late-delivery rate up into the unacceptable range again, plus they've decided to double our "defect" rate (which means how many items I can't ship because they've disappeared) so instead of packing some and listing some, I've just been packing. Apparently I should just live to ship packages out and nothing else. 

 

A stay-in Saturday

 56th day sober. I practiced last night and worked on some things like playing Amazing Grace an octave up. 

Then I slept, and slept some more - until about 4:30 in the afternoon. I'd has passing thoughts of busking this weekend but what I think I'm going to do is just practice another week and then try the waters next weekend.

Friday sans headache

 55th day sober. Up at 2:45 or so. I had coffee and pills and nuts and seeds and packed 9 things to take with me to the post office. Some heavy stuff can go over the weekend as FedEx is open on weekends. 

After my drop-offs at the post office I went to 99 Ranch for some shopping but first got a couple of tea eggs and this little custard tart for $4. Tea eggs used to be $1.50 for two, but now they're 2 for $2 and the tart was $2. The tart was really good while the tea eggs were ... tea eggs. 

I did some shopping and looked for some kind of wide-mouth bottle that holds a liter. There wasn't anything there though. 

I went to H Mart next and got a few other things, and found a neat glass pitcher that holds a liter and a half and is perfect. The idea is, I discovered a good-tasting brand of Japanese barley tea at Nijiya that you brew a quart at a time, by putting a bag in a quart of water and just setting it in the fridge. Or, my little secret is, room temperature works fine too. The bags are big though, so I needed something with a wide mouth. When the barley tea's finished I can pour it into a regular water bottle with a small mouth, and keep it in the fridge. 

I checked Tom's place on the way back and the big truck trailer wasn't there and neither was another trailer that pretty much lives there. That doesn't tell me if Joel, the guy who rents the back, is leaving or piling more crap in but at least I saw no signs of anyone trying to break in. 

Another Day of Decay

 54th day sober.  Up at 2:30, and these days getting to sleep is easy again. If (when) I wake up too soon, it's easy to get back to sleep and get another hour or two or three in. 

On the radio (the only dependable media) they were saying only 10% of Olympic athletes have been vaccinated at all - so much for any perception that they'd be 100% vaccinated, making the Olympics a good showcase for vaccination. Athletes are being given a little bottle of hand sanitizer and told no autographs, and "behave yourself". If my own experience is any guide, not all of them will behave themselves, not at all. 

The modern Olympics only kept going and became "a thing" because it was a showcase for which was a better system: Capitalism or Communism. It was already well-proven that Communism is better for 99% of the population when the oligarchs killed off the USSR for being too good and too successful, and now the Olympics has limped along, trying to justify itself as sheer advertising, which is better, Pepsi or Coke? 

Now it's going to be the first multi-nationally held super-spreader event. And there are anti-Olympic demonstrations all over the world. 

So that's another thing that's dying. Reddit is dying, and YouTube is becoming almost unwatchable - there are tons of ads and some weird algorithm that wants to auto-play all kinds of stupid shit. 

I got going for downtown at almost 4. It was actually pretty nice out, sunny and not too hot. I remembered I had to take the 4 packages I had stashed in the bike bags to the post office and stopped there and dropped those off, then went to the bank. I was only off by $3 in my calculation of what my deposit would bring my account to, which is an error of only about 1%. 

Next I went over to the hardware store and got a Victor snap trap because I think there might be a rat in here. Then went to the drug store for some aspirin, $8 for a bottle of 300 when they used to be a lot cheaper. 

I went over to the book store since I have over $20 in trade credit and picked out a book that's a combination of "Pidgin To The Max" and "Pidgin To The Max Hana Hou" for $2, and a Kurt Vonnegut book but the Vonnegut book turned out to be new so I had to put it back. So even though I wanted to spend more, I only spent $2 there. 

I decided I didn't have much more to do downtown so I rode back to Nijiya and did a big shopping trip. I got all kinds of things, even some barley tea and a roll of chashu. And a nice big bento of course - that was under $10 though. It all came to a bit over $60. 

I got back and ate the bento and relaxed, Reddit was back up again - for now - and then sifted and sorted stuff and put stuff out for the bums to pick up.

Normal is great

 53rd day sober. Up around 3. I'd done some practice last night after listing some big things Ken had brought by, about 7 grand worth so I hope the stuff sells. 

My sleep was great. Weird dreams still but not as vivid, and easy to get to sleep too. I'd even had a coffee in the evening and no problem. I can see now that I'd been kind of "off" for a few days before the headache so whatever it was, was affecting me for closer to a week. 

Feeling normal is great. Being sober is great - I used to feel really bad about myself if I couldn't find a thing that needed shipping, or any of a number of other disappointments. But now that I'm off the sauce, I don't have those low points of despair. There's a sort of base-level of well being. That's probably my brain making the right amount of dopamine again. 

This is not to say things aren't a bit precarious. Our Ebay sales are still not very good, and I've told Ken this may be because people are not shut in so much now and we may see a drop to a lower level just like we saw much better sales when there were lock downs and curfews etc. 

Ken has said he's not going to lower my pay down past $300 a month so that's a base level, but really all this job is, is a way to exist until I'm eligible for Social Security and I can leave here. 

This is why I need to work on the trumpet so much more. So far I love the Rubank book. The exercises have a way of having the student play fairly high without stress and strain, because the exercises are interesting. 

I packed a couple of big things to take to FedEx and was almost thinking I'd break my promise to only eat home-cooked foods all week but before heading out I had a couple of boiled eggs and so I was not hungry and tempted as I made my drop-offs and went around picking up packing materials. 

I packed some small things to take to the post office on my way to the bank the next day, and just as I was packing the last thing Ken came by. He had tons of scientific stuff to drop off, wrote out my check, and we hung out and talked about mostly technical stuff for a while. 

After he was gone I made some pork ramen and ate that, and listed 20 small things I had already cued up, as well as stashing away the stuff he'd brought by. 

I did a practice which went fairly well and did the math regarding my last pay check - I've only spent about $125 out of it.

Headache gone?

 52nd day sober. I did stuff last night like cook dinner (or un-cook dinner as it was mostly a salad) and take things apart and prepare the good parts to put on Ebay, and so on. 

About 3AM I noticed my headache was gone. I could shake my head and no pain. What an amazing feeling. I went to bed and slept pretty well, weird dreams but good sleep, and woke up a bit past 3. 

I had breakfast - coffee and peanut butter filled mochi, yum! - and packed all the things that needed to go, which is a nice feeling. I could carry it all on the bike without the trailer so it was an easy ride up to the post office and FedEx, and then I did some shopping at H Mart, replenishing my sunflower seeds and Brazil nuts, getting a new brand of dried shrimp, getting a package of "knife cut" noodles with perilla seeds "kit" to try, and so on. 

I took a break afterwards sitting on the curb in front of this condo complex, with some snack nuts and a Genki peach fizzy water, which, when I was drinking, tasted like Heaven. Now that I'm a non-drinker it's ... OK. 

I swung by the storage unit to pick up this one power supply I wanted to take apart, but as I came in through the gate, there was a lady tossing out all kinds of stuff in the dumpster there. I picked out a big roll of foam sheet and a couple big pieces of black anti-static foam, hard but I figured possible, to carry on the bike. I got talking with her, about how my "sailor knots" should take care of it. She said something about anyone who sails the ocean ought to know what they're talking about or something like that, and I said it was actually a joke because every time a friend has tied up a load for me with their "sailor knots" it's always been a disaster I've had to re-do. 

She was the usual run-of-the-mill ditz. Talked about how she's an "empath" and so on. She'd had an antique business and then the virus killed it. I asked her if she's tried putting things on Etsy or Ebay and she'd never thought of that. Somehow I couldn't get a word in edgewise to say that with the shutdown, my own Ebay business had taken off. 

I tied up the roll of foam with my "sailor knots" onto the back of the bike, and used my two cloth shopping bags in an unusual way to carry the two big pieces of black foam, and didn't bother with the power supply at all - it'll still be there later. Carrying the stuff on the bike turned out to be no problem. 

I went to Tom's building to check on it and there's a half-length semi-truck trailer parked right up against the door and the side gate by the door. I have no idea what that's all about. But otherwise things looked OK. Maybe Joel, the guy who rents the back half of the building, is preparing to move out... 

A thought: Maybe I could rent the loft in back from Tom if something happens here or if I just get tired of this place. I'd be nice to just busk at various Whole Foods locations and other hot spots. Although I *have* suggested to Tom that he move his son into there, who could then take classes at San Jose State or San Jose City College or something, and with financial aid could probably swing $500 a month rent. 

I get closer to this idea the more money I save up but it's also a function of whether busking is back as a thing. I'd have some data if I'd not gotten that awful headache and gone to Mountain View on the weekend. 

Anyway Tom's place was fine and I rode back here, futzed around with Ebay stuff and cooked and ate some pork ramen, and pondered what to do about the toilet. Yes, before taking off I'd sat down for my daily dump and .... the toilet would not flush and threatened to overflow. I'd shut off the water to it so that didn't happen. 

Ken came by which I didn't expect today, and brought some big stuff to list as well as a few small things. He had to offload some stuff so he'd have room in his truck to load up on more stuff tomorrow, of course. I told Ken about the toilet not working and that I was fairly sure it wasn't something from us but was something with the system for the whole building, since this has happened before. 

Eventually Ken left and interestingly, while Ken was here someone had swooped by and picked up the box of scrap metal I'd left out and had still been sitting there by the trash enclosure. I was going to dark out and put it inside as it'd be just like Ken to see it and pick it up himself. But some helpful person had grabbed it - good. 

Can basically work

 51st day sober. I got my 20 Ebay things listed last night and even did some practice without my headache getting worse. I went to bed around 6AM and woke up a couple of times, and the headache got worse around 7AM so I tried massaging my neck which seemed to help, and slept more, to more weird dreams. 

I was up at almost 4PM which gave me time to have vitamins and an egg salad, and find and pack two more orders then I rode up to the post office with the packages and did a shopping trip at 99 Ranch, spending $27. I gave my little $1 ticket that you get one of for each $20 spent to the down-and-out looking Asian guy who hangs out in front, and got a surprisingly clear-voiced and intelligent sounding "thank you". 

As I packed things away and unlocked the bike I considered going back over to the other doorway and asking him if he plays a musical instrument at all since I do have that stupid ukulele I'm never playing. But he was gone so it won't happen this week. 

I rode back and stopped at the storage unit, picking up a couple of "can't fix 'em" units Ken had left there and given me carte blanche to sell as-is, well, we'll get more for the parts. 

Tom still isn't back, and I checked around his building to make sure all is well. A bum was walking up Rogers Avenue there and come over from across the street - what was he carrying, a large come-along? "What is that?" I asked out loud, then as he got closer I answered my question with "Oh - a ukulele. Do you play much?" but he passed by wordless. He walked over to the pile of pallets by the countertop place and fished out a bag he'd left there and I rode off. 

It was pretty nice outside. The official temperature in San Jose is 68 degrees but of course it's a hair under 80 in here. Was I ever smart, buying that fan! 

My headache is here, but seems to be slowly getting better. I'm doing stretches, neck massage, aspirin at recommended intervals, and moving around as long as I'm not straining myself seems to help.  I'd actually had a coffee with my aspirin after the egg salad, and treated myself to a can of Mr. Brown at 99 Ranch. So maybe coffee isn't so bad but I should limit it to the start of my day. 

If it weren't for the headache, I was planning to go to Mountain View and "try the waters" for busking. Since I only have about $9 left on my clipper card I was thinking I'd take the #522 bus there because why spend more than I need to if I'm not going to make squat?

Is this going to be my life now?

 50th day sober. Lasts night I took some stuff apart and got together 20 things to list on Ebay but didn't list them. I had a coffee and aspirin when I got up, but that was my only coffee. I stayed up until the usual time but interestingly, around 4-5AM my headache got worse despite my having more aspirin at the recommended intervals. I went to bed at 5AM and it was bad at 7AM. 

Eventually by being stubborn and doing deep breathing exercises and keeping on trying to fall asleep I actually did, and woke up at 4 in the afternoon. 

I checked my temperature and I don't have a fever, and according to Dr. Google, the only doctor I can afford to see, this type of headache is *probably* due to some kind of insult to the nerves that go from my spine to my brain like an injury or I dunno, maybe even just twisting around the wrong way or something. 

I started today with some green tea and my usual nuts and vitamins. I had two cups of green tea, in fact. What's funny is, I felt like I had more energy when I was drinking green tea after being off of alcohol and before going back onto coffee. It was still chilly in here when I woke up so hot green tea was welcome, while I drank coffee iced. But it turns out green tea tastes good at any temperature as long as it's fresh. 

Not drinking coffee pour-overs all the time will save money too. I've only spent about $50 of this last pay check so far, and if I'm both off of coffee pour-overs (they're almost a dollar each) and staying off of restaurant food I should save a lot more money. This is important because things are looking really shitty on Ebay right now.

Where did that come from?

 49th day sober. Last night I sorted and re-arranged some stuff, listed 16 things on Ebay, put some junk out for the bums to pick up, etc.  Then I made, I think, a really good pork curry and ate that and watched a bit of YouTube and was looking forward to the night's practice. 

But I developed this headache that eventually almost immobilized me. Forget about practice, I could barely reply to an email Ken sent me and could barely pay attention to anything online and went to bed at about 5AM. 

I woke up at 5PM after a long intermittent sleep, with the headache nearly all gone but I'm still cautious. 

I did very little today, just fixed up some guacamole for breakfast and part of dinner, took a bunch of stuff apart so I've got 20 things to list on Ebay. Not a lot of exertion involved.

Actual Juneteenth - post office open?

 48th day sober. I got up around 1:30. Last night I'd gotten out my new fan because my older one was kind of noisy, and it works great. 

I took a couple of bad HP power supplies apart and amazingly, got the panel meters out with all their parts OK, which is really something. Those will go for good money.

For some reason I had a headache, and Ebay was acting weird it being a Thursday night, the night they do maintenance. So after getting stuff ready to list I didn't list it, and decided to do some practice in spite of the headache. 

The practice didn't make it any worse, and I played stuff in the Rubank book and also tried the first two etudes in the Getchell book. 

I went to bed with the new fan blowing on me and slept a lot better than I'd been. 

A packed things and headed out a bit after 6, and on Brokaw as it goes under the 880 overpass, I saw a strange tableau: There was what looked at first like a pile of trash under the bridge but since I'm kind of nosy I looked closer and it was a bum, sleeping. And on the little hill leading to the onramp was a really shitty car, stalled there, with a STUDENT DRIVER sign on it, like any driving school would use a car that shitty. The car was full of trash and junk, and a portly Hispanic lady in the passenger side and no driver. 

A scenario ran through my mind: The driver didn't feel well or went to look for help or something, and passed out under the bridge. My instinct was to help but I had to get the packages sent so I did that, and on the way back I noticed the car was gone, while the bum was still sleeping there. It might have been the coolest place he could find and it looks like he had nothing to do with the stalled car. 

I'd had an avocado before starting out, so it was easy to resist the temptation to get food somewhere. I'm wondering if I can try doing a week with only home-prepared food. I'd saved $90 out of the last pay check and that was with spending almost $60 at the music store, so what if I got very strict with myself about this? 

Forget about voting, here's Juneteenth

 47th say sober. Up around 1 in the afternoon. My sleep's been crappy which I blame on too much coffee. I've been drinking those pour-overs and even diluting the coffee until it looks like iced tea but I think it's still too much. 

Actually, I feel like I had more actual "energy" when I was drinking green tea but I'd stopped that since it was no longer chilly when I got up or late at night. But I could drink it iced, I guess. 

I futzed around doing usual getting up and getting going stuff, and before I knew it it was time to take off for the bank. The lunch truck was out front and I got a little dish of mini pork wontons and a sparkling water for which I was only charged $3. I ate my wontons and decided I'll be at the bank closer to 4:30 then 4:00 then. 

As I passed Smile Market there was an old bum who came stumbling up and very painfully sat down against the shady side of the building. I stopped and turned around to hand him a couple of bucks to buy some water (water is a dire need downtown, with no free water unless you're quite physically fit and have "connections" so the poor are generally paying about $8 a gallon for drinking water a day) so I started to hand him the couple of bucks then said, "I might as well give you what I've got" and handed him the $5 in 1's I had in my wallet, and added, "I don't care if you buy water or beer just get something in you" and rode on. 

The bank deposit went fine and everything balanced to the penny. That's always good. 

I went to Dai Thanh and got odds and ends and $20 cash back and contemplated going to Da Kao for some snack as all their stuff is delicious and I've not explored it all yet, but looked at the time and decided not to, today. 

I went to Nijiya and got more serious groceries, and some frivolous stuff like the Meiji chocolate I ate all of, which probably explains the headache I have now. 

On my ride home I reflected on how much actual life in San Jose resembles the propaganda, or was it mere level-eyed, and fair information, that the USSR propagated about the evils of capitalism. Rich people in sleek cars, and huddled groups of poor and desperate people out on the street. 

And of course the Idiots In Charge have made a national holiday out of Juneteenth which is all well and fine, but making a national holiday - with it being made illegal to require anyone to work that day - out of major election days would be much more important.

Where are we on the glide path

 46th day sober. I left this laptop on all night so I'd not have to screw around for half an hour to get online. I woke up at 2, when by the time I went to sleep I should have woken up at noon, but I guess I needed the sleep. 

I keep looking at places online like r/collapse on Reddit, to get an idea of how things are out there. I know we've got heat to deal with for the next few months, and it may cause a catastrophe in Texas because that's just how they do things there. But all across the US especially in the flyover, "dumbfuckistan" parts of the US. This is why all desire to retire in some cute little flyover town where it's ostensibly cheaper than California (these places are generally not) has left me. 

But the question is, how much longer will it be possible to return home? I've been assuming things will be fairly much OK for the next 3 years and I hope I'm right. 

I packed stuff that had to go, took it to the post office, and on my way back as I was looking for packing materials I noticed that the drone place had left their dumpster unlocked and there were tons of these really neat little battery boxes in there. So I hurried back to the shop with the stuff I'd gathered and unloaded it and went back for the boxes - 62 small ones and maybe a dozen of other sizes. 

Then I loaded up some boxes of stuff I had in the trash enclosure and took that to a spot near the bridge where people often dump stuff. 

With all this extra running around I was glad I'd stopped at Baba's and had a gyro, and since the tables out front were free I'd just eaten it there. 

Eventually Ken came by with some stuff to list and we sat around and talked about tech stuff for a while, and when I started packing a thing to ship and started looking at the clock he said it was "probably time to go" since it was almost midnight. 

I cooked up some spam and eggs since it's easy and ate, and listed some Ebay things - mainly the things Ken brought plus a few high voltage power supplies.

Laptop all fixed'ed.

 45th day sober. I went downtown and picked it up and it seems to be working OK. I'm inclined to keep using this one (which is actually really nice for watching YouTube videos) until it breaks, then get out my "old" one which is actually a lot newer. 

Downtown was the usual, lots of zombies staggering around, although traffic is returning to normal. The bodega I was able to buy rubbing alcohol from long ago has it again and at not too awful a price so I got some. It's a waste of the 99% stuff Ken buys to water it down to 70% for routine use - best to keep that stuff for cleaning sticker residue etc. 

I also picked up the first Getchell-Hovey book and the printing looks fine, not "fuzzy" at all as a couple of people complained about in Amazon reviews. 

I got back here and loaded up the FedEx packages and took those to FedEx. I'd dropped off USPS ones at the downtown post office. 

Eventually I listed Ebay items and actually got those done earlier than usual, before midnight. Then I tried to get motivated to practice but felt tired and just watched stuff on YouTube and went to bed.

Time to get moving

 44th day sober. I was up late/early listing Ebay stuff, and then did some practice. It's funny how, when I'm out of practice, I can always rip out high C's if I'm trying out a horn or something, but when it comes to buckling down and putting in an hour+ of playing, it's a lot harder. But it's hard practice that got me there in the first place, and apparently that's just what it takes: being stubborn and just practicing those exercises over and over. 

My first Getchell-Hovey book *and* my now-repaired laptop are both waiting for me downtown but I can't get 'em today, as I have packing and shipping to do. 

I got everything I wanted to, packed, except for a pair of big mixing boards; of course the guy had to buy both so they have to be fitted into a big box with plenty of custom-cut pieces of foam to make sure they get where they're going nice and comfy. 

The drop-offs at the post office and FedEx went fine, and I resisted the urge to get a gyro from Baba's and instead got back here and cooked up an island favorite, spam and eggs. Yes, I had a can of spam around and I figured it's time I started using it. People say it's expensive, but a can is 12 oz. and my normal serving of meat is 4 oz, so a can is 3 servings and comes out to less than $2 a serving, which is pretty much my standard for any sort of meat or fish. 

Sleepy Sunday

 43rd day sober. After trumpet practice I went to bed, but must have had too much coffee or something because I had a hell of a time getting to sleep. I think I finally got some sleep starting around 10AM. I didn't wake up, ultimately, until 3. 

Going to/from Mountain View on the train works out pretty well if I can time it right so I'm not waiting around 45 minutes for the train. I'm beginning to get curious about going out there to busk, although a trip out there costs me about $10 on my clipper card. The other musicians out there did not seem to be making "bank" but then they were not playing the trumpet. 

I've mentioned this before but there's a definite ranking of instruments in busking. About the lowest are the ukulele and harmonica, closely followed by the guitar. They're considered too easy* and there are just so many people playing them. You get more points for a wind instrument because, well, at least you have to make the effort of blowing into it. And of the wind instruments, brass instruments are considered the most hard - I'd probably make bank if I were a whiz-bang French horn player as that instrument is considered super hard for some reason. Maybe it is! Violin is always a good choice because if it's played decently it sounds good and it's considered difficult also. 

*if you're a real virtuoso then even a "common" instrument like uke or harmonica will serve you fine. 

The guy with the red baritone sax, that day playing in fact his black alto, could likely have made out well if he'd played things people know, but there are all sorts of motives for playing music on the street and if he's in line to inherit millions in the form of a house in the area, who cares about being "commercial"? He and his buddy had an interesting jam going. 

I finally ordered the 1st Getchell-Hovey book on Amazon. There are complaints about the printing being "fuzzy" but I don't know, if it's that bad I can always return it. I took a look at the beginning of the 2nd book and I can almost start in playing there but I'd rather go with the first one first.

The red baritone

 42nd day sober. Last night after listing Ebay things, although I didn't feel like it at first, I got some practice done. Earlier in the day I'd watched some thing with Alan Vizzutti playing a piece with some crazy high notes and being Alan Vizzutti of course he had the exact same look on his face whether he was playing something super high or a note in the staff. He's Mr. Relaxation. I'd also watched a bit of a piece played by Alison Balsom; absolutely beautiful and I bet she uses some really deep mouthpiece to get that sound, but again it was a case of being utterly relaxed no matter how high the notes. 

I also reflected on an exercise I'd heard about and tried when I was first ever trying the trumpet, where you make a thin needle of air come out of your mouth then bring the trumpet up and you should get a very high note - and I had. 

So I went through the Rubank exercises, finding them easier now, and did some work on high notes with as little mouthpiece pressure as possible. And high notes really are easier with less pressure. So while it was only about an hour's practice I feel I learned something. 

I woke up around 2 as usual, and while I really didn't want to go anywhere, I told myself I'll be cooped up in here all week so I really need to get out and do something different on the weekend. 

I took off for downtown at about 3:45 and locked the bike up at Whole Foods, and went over to Diridon Station and eventually got on a train for Mountain View. I had to wait a bit but the actual ride is only 15 minutes which is far preferable to easily 3X that on the bus. 

My first stop was the music store where I got a Yamaha trumpet care kit which actually came with a large bottle of Yamaha valve oil which costs me $10 all on its own. I got the 2nd Getchell-Hovey etude book because they don't have the first and some people on Amazon are saying the latest, Belwin, printing is unclear but this one is Belwin and looks OK and I can order the first on Amazon. And a book of Concone exercises. 

Then I went to the drug store to see if they have the kind of lip balm I'm using these days, and they didn't. I walked around a bit and had a bowl of pork and shrimp on noodles at a Vietnamese place, and remembered I'd forgotten to "tag off" when I got off the train, so I went back and tagged my clipper card on the northbound side, and walked back to Castro Street. 

I saw three street music acts. There was a black guy with a microphone and an amp and backing tracks singing "Christian" music and uninspiringly too. It was hard to tell how much he was actually singing and how much faking it as the track he was using had the original singer on it - I assume the flat bits were his singing. He was *not* getting tips. 

I passed a Gypsy lady with a few kids and a begging sign, whom I'm sure I've seen at Whole Foods long ago. And then came to the 2nd act, a guy with a Fender Strat and a guy with an alto saxophone. They were taking a break, and the sax guy was rolling up a fat spliff of low-grade weed. It turns out the guy was the guy I'd met years ago who had a red baritone sax. He lives around there and they come out and play "sometimes". 

After he and the guitarist had smoked the spliff they got down to a jam that sounded pretty cool, but frankly not the kind of thing that's going to grab people. Between jams I said it's a shame I didn't bring my trumpet to join in. 

Presently the 3rd musical act, an older Black guy with an acoustic guitar, came by and stopped to watch for a bit, looking hang-dog. I stepped aside and motioned to where I'd been standing, to indicate he was welcome to join in. But he didn't. Hopefully he had a place all lined up to play. 

So Castro Street is still closed off to traffic making it a nice pedestrian mall, and yes there are people playing music, but the kind of music being played is either an annoyance or being treated as one by the crowd.

Huge plumes of dust

 41st day sober. Over at the site where the Smithfield ham factory used to be they're making huge plumes of dust but fortunately it's not blowing in my direction. It will be interesting to see what actually gets built there after a month or so of very expensive heavy equipment working there. 

Ken had come over last night to drop off a lot of stuff to list, and to hang out. I ended up listing some projector lenses he'd brought and thought were sure to be worth about a grand apiece. 

By the time I was done entertaining Ken, having some dinner, and listing the lenses it was close to 4AM and I probably went to bed around 5. 

At 2 this afternoon I was already sitting at my desk, having nuts and coffee and vitamins, and checking on the latest shit-throwing on Ebay. 

And today we have no sales, one particularly nasty negative feedback and another, what I call a "nasty neutral", the first we've gotten, because something sold but has ceased to actually exist, so I had to cancel the order and refund the buyer. Between the move and this place being so crammed full of shit (most of which barely sells) things get lost all the time. 

I did get a call today from the laptop place and they confirmed it's the hard drive, and told me it will be $110 for a replacement. I told them no problem, and that I can come in and pick it up on Monday so there's no hurry. 

This computer is slow as hell and there's even been shit going on like my bike having a slow leak in the front tire but at least it's slow so on my way out of here I just pumped it up with the little pump I carry with me and after dropping off packages at the post office and then shopping at 99 Ranch, pumping it up some more before heading for home. 

I'm also checking Tom's place every time I'm in the area and saw no signs of problems. That's one of the few things that are going well right now. 

I'm not sure how long it will take to dig out of our low point on Ebay, if it can be done at all. That means, along with things starting to open up again, that I should get back into the busking game. 

Of the money I earn working for Ken, I should be saving all I can. And if things go all to shit here I'm going to need some way to make money to pay for a storage unit for my stuff, and decide how much longer I want to sweat it out here in this hellscape before going back home.

Of course the power's out

40th day sober. I got over an hour's practice in last night, and went to sleep around 6AM. When I woke up, of course the power was out, because as anyone knows, in the end times, the power's always going out. 

So I didn't have to worry about checking Ebay. I heated water on the butane stove using a tea pot and washed up and shaved etc., and took off at about 2. 

First I rode down Hedding, a route I'd not taken for at least a year so it was interesting to see places I'd not seen for a while. Those flat fields before I got to Coleman are now not just a homeless camping area but an actual homeless town. Lots of RVs and cars and some tents, but actual 1930s style shanties are all over. If they can just let them stay there long-term, they'll eventually self-govern to the point of keeping the place clean, and bad actors getting the cement overshoes treatment and being disappeared into Alviso Slough. 

I went over to Park Avenue Music, and looked around quite a bit. I didn't see any books I wanted, and they didn't have a Bach 6A mouthpiece (although they do have a 5A for $58 or so) or a single mouthpiece brush outside of a kit, but they did sell me 4 actual Yamaha spit valve corks for $5 which appear to be actual cork but a *lot* firmer than the ones I'd bought on Amazon. Like they might last a while. 

Next I rode over to the laptop place and locked the bike right out front. There was a zombie talking to itself endlessly, just standing there next to the door, but looked unlikely to do much else, so I took the laptop and went in. I checked the laptop in, and how they do it is, they do a "free" diagnostic to see if it's really the hard drive, then will call me and let me know what they can do and for how much. 

I went back out and the zombie was gone, and there was a sort of tallish, angular looking white guy, the kind of guy who looks like he belongs on some TV commercial selling "wine spritzers" to high schoolers. He had a dirty rag mop in his hand and said, "It's a zoo out here isn't it?" I kind of assented and asked him if he was visiting the area (with his dirty mop?) and he was out here from Pensacola, Florida, to "do work on the buildings here". (I'd guess the work involves little more technical than dirty floors.)

He then went on about how it's not like that at all where he lives, not at all. People don't do any graffiti or act up in any way, "Because it's run by conservatives".  He'd stepped in it then, because I proceeded to tell him what I think of conservatives and their attempted coup and my dismal chances to get a shot at any of the main players, not least the Rump himself, however much the oath I swore when I went into the Army requires me to take a shot if I can. He stared to backpedal, "That was never supposed to happen" he said, stepping back a bit. "No, you voted for this, you wanted this, this is what the Republican party is about now" and started to take off. "That's what liberals always do; run away" he said and I turned on him and told him I'm not a liberal, I'm a Marxist-Leninist-Maoist, and we're all for the proper treatment of criminals, shoot them in the back of the head and charge their families for the bullet. 

Then I really did take off but it might have been fun to hang around. Ask him if the economy's so great out in Sarasota, Florida, then why's he out here in California mopping bum cum off of flophouse floors? Bet he's got/had the house and the 2.4 children and all 2.4 of 'em hate him, and of course he's divorced (all these old white guys are) and so on. Is he mopping floors at the other end of the country from his home to pay child support or to support his mail-order Asian child-wife, or por que no los dos? It truly warms my heart to know his kind are dying out. 

The next stop was the food court place on 1st to use the bathroom then over to Da Kao for some yellow chicken curry. I ate that over at the college and I turned out to be close enough to the music building to hear someone doing long tones on some brass instrument. 

After eating I looked at the time - 4:07 whoops! My appointment at the bank was for 4. I rode over there and probably got there at 4:20 or so, and went right in. I asked if they're still requiring appointments or if it's just open now and it's just open now. So I'll keep going at the same time but not have to mess around with their web page making an appointment. 

Then there was some surprise as the teller told me to look out the front and there was a zombie taking a piss on the palm tree out front. "That's the only water that tree's going to get for months" I observed. I told her how in Paris at least for a while they had these sort of outdoor urinal things so people would have a place to go, and if a city doesn't have something like that, then this is what you get. He could have pissed in their ATM (or on my bike) so the palm tree getting it is about the best that can happen. 

Done at the bank, I went over to Nijiya for some shopping. Blondie was there and asked what was for dinner tonight and I started to say I was not sure because I'd had a big lunch (the curry) but I told him how, last night, I wanted a "cool" dinner so I made some cole slaw and had a couple of hard-boiled eggs which I found to be really tasty with some "seasoned pepper" and la-yu chili oil. 

I got back here and the power was back on. It still took about a half hour of messing around to get back online, but that might just be how it's going to be from here on out.

When the world is running down...

 39th day sober. It took a half-hour of solid effort to get online and I keep telling Ken we need to be prepared to go back to a newsletter/catalog that's issued monthly by fax machine, orders payable in mailed cash or stamps. 

I finally did get on, though, and will have to count on a half-hour a turning the router on and off, doing Windows diagnostic, etc. to start each day. 

However, to reward myself, I decided I'd walk out front to the lunch truck and get a plate of food, and although they've always been there at about 3:30 in the afternoon, they were not there. It makes sense: with everyone out of work, who's got money to spend at a lunch truck? 

When I got done listing 20 things on Ebay last night, it was about 3AM and I'd eaten some sardines with chopped onions which is a good dish but made my stomach hurt a bit, gas or digestion or something, so I didn't practice. At least I did a bit of reading yesterday and last night and I think I'm on the right track with the Rubank series of trumpet method books, and the Getchell-Hovey etude books, which in fact the mean Mr. Bolvin wanted me to work out of, are highly recommended too. 

In the past I'd been working out of the lesser-known Clarke book, Elementary Studies, and I'm sure it's good, but dull. The exercises in the Rubank book are fun. 

I'd also looked up what one of my busking heroes, Reginald Conyers, is up to and he's apparently been busking all through this thing. They say a trumpet can spread germs but I might take a trumpet's occasional drips over that fine spray of spit that issues from my more-snaggly-tooth side on low notes on clarinet, and the reed/mouthpiece gets kind of gross too. 6 of one and a half-dozen of the other... 

I packed everything that needed to go and got over to the post office and fedex, checked Tom's place on the way over and there was no sign of any tampering. There's a Ring camera installed right on the front door so I hope no one steals it! There was  bum asleep on the asphalt up by the corner, but he seemed to be completely passed out. 

On the way back I got a gyro from Baba's and ate it sitting on one of the planters/walls at the corner of the mall, that's out of the wind and where in fact I used to eat before I discovered the robot place. 

On my way back I checked on the bum since he'd not moved and verified that he was at least breathing. OK fair enough! I got on back here. It's funny, it's been actually cooler than what's the norm and there were pretty clouds in the sky.

It's all about endurance

 38th day sober. After doing things like a ton of software updates on this computer, I got out the Rubank book and did some practice. The real strength of the Rubank book and maybe why so many who give lessons rave about it is, it's got tons of exercises that "increase endurance and range and lung power" but are actually fun to play. 

I've been talking about testing this or that horn and going to high C and above, and it's like being someone who built up to doing a ton of pull-ups and can always do a few with perfect form but a lot of them, no. Endurance has to be built back up. But that doesn't bother me in the least because I know it can be done. 

My new spit valve "corks" on the Yamaha trumpet seem to be working well. Actual cork corks, it seems, have to be replaced fairly often. Which is OK, it's just cork. But for the average player it means taking the horn to the shop and leaving it for 2 weeks or whatever their bullshit time is, and paying what, $35 or so? 

Last night I also polished up the exterior at least, of the "Conn 4" mouthpiece that came with the $50 cornet. It cleaned up really nicely. That thing's worth $25 right there. It wasn't as gunky as an "Al Hirt" mouthpiece I'd gotten from that same hole in the wall embroidery shop years ago, and which I wish I had just to have it. 

Things are starting to open up, gradually, but there's still a "wartime" feel put there. For instance, the Recycle Book Store is all picked over and even with $26 in trade credit in hand I just could not find anything I wanted to buy the other day. Trumpet books - all wiped out. Craig's List is a wasteland, only having the same old horns people have been trying to sell for years and may not actually exist. 

So I feel like if I can get anything decent, I should pick it up. This $50 cornet is a prime example. Once I get it all cleaned up and things unstuck, it should play fine.  One day I may be very thankful to myself for having gotten it. 

Capitalism is like a boa constrictor. Once it tightens a step, it only loosens up partway, in preparation for an even tighter squeeze in time. 90% of us never recovered from the crash of 08, and while it's not been talked out for fear of causing panic, this opportunistic tightening under cover of the covid virus has been at least as bad. 

I could enumerate the things that are gone now, mostly due to the capitalist response to the virus and some due to general decay. 

(1) Safeway downtown is gone.

(2) Ross downtown is gone.

(3) Walgreens downtown is gone. 

(4) Fry's is gone.

(5) The VTA light rail is gone - mass shooter took out a critical maintenance team.

(6) Medical care unless it's a dire emergency is gone. 

(7) Dental care ditto.

(8) Needless to say "shooting sports" stuff is gone or nearly so. 

(9) Haircuts - gone. I'm glad I got those fancy-schmancy clippers I use now. 

(10) Buskers - gone. The people running this city finally got their wish. 

(11) Cafe Stritch, along with a lot of other "cool" places - gone. 

(12) Interestingly, a lot of the bums around here are gone. This I consider a plus. 

(13) Bicycles and bicycle parts are hard to get and I'm extra careful keeping mine locked etc. 

(14) Bentos, well, Nijiya has stopped selling them, pretty much. A small thing but annoying.

(15) NPR. Yep good old public radio. Signal's gone to shit. Probably can't afford their elec. bill now. 

Since Whole Foods is staying open until 10PM again, I might consider some busking soon. I was there fairly early in the day and the petition-botherers were not around, not even the old guy with his little table and tons of stuff to sign. So I don't know if I'll get run off if I try playing there but then I was worried about being run off when I first played there and that never happened. 

And now I have a clarinet "waiting in the wings" if I ever feel frustrated or want to try something different. In terms of grossness, it's kind of even with trumpet or maybe actually a bit worse. Who knows what evils might lurk in clarinet pads in a tropical environment back in Hawaii? Artie Shaw noted that the pads on saxophones would rot when he and his band toured around the Pacific in WWII.  And while due to all my trumpet practice I can do all kinds of notes on a clarinet, I've found to my dismay that due to a snaggly tooth that never bothered me on trumpet, on low notes on the clarinet a fine spray of spit issues from the left side of my mouth. So that thing can just wait in the wings for now. 

I've come around to thinking that it's not that "trumpet is too hard on my system" but that playing trumpet AND being a drinker is.  In fact when I think of Eric Miyashiro, the trumpet player from back in Honolulu talking on YouTube about how hard trumpet playing is, well, the guy's *really* overweight. I don't know if he's a drinker but he does not look all that healthy and it can't all be blamed on playing a trumpet. Meanwhile Miles Davis kept himself to a healthy weight and did physical training and "Doc" Severinson, famous for playing well into quite an old age, works out too. 

I like to think I'm losing some unneeded weight now that I'm not drinking 2 liters of wine every 24 hours, and my general life keeps me more active than many, with the hours I put in one the bike and packing things and so on. And once back in Hawaii I'd like to do things like ride a bike or even walk around the island.

Back in computer land for now

 37th day sober.

My computer completely died. I told Ken about it on the phone last night and he said, "See you tomorrow night!". 

I got up today, took packages to the post office and fedex, then went downtown and checked in at the "Fix Laptop" place. Prices have gone up, and I didn't see any Dell Latitudes. But, the guy says he can replace the hard drive in my machine for $100-$150 so I'll take it over there and see what he can do. 

I bought a fan at the hardware store, some (more) experimental stuff for trumpet spit valve "corks", had visited a couple of lunch trucks on my way to the post office so I'd eaten, and got back here and put things away, started in on The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck, and messed around with my trumpet cork stuff. 

Presently Ken came by and had gotten an old Dell laptop set up and got it online, tested its connection with the printer, made sure I can print out shipping labels, and wrote out my pay check although I told him I won't put it in the bank until Thursday because that's my day to go to the bank. 

I almost neglected to mention, in thinking about better materials than cork for trumpet spit valves, I'd been thinking about the 1937 King Master cornet I once had and how much I regretted letting it go. It played fine, and I'd used some odd little orange silicon stopper things on its spit valves and they worked great. 

Thinking about it made me think of this little hole-in-the-wall place, an embroidery shop, that had brass instruments for sale. I went over there and it was still there. The guy had a cornet, a King made by H.N. White or something, with a #4 mouthpiece. I played it a bit, up to high C and the E above that, and in the end, although it's a bit dinged up, "It'll make a honk" was my verdict and I gave the guy $50 for it. 

So now I've got another fix-up project and I'm able to get caught up on Ebay.

Computer sickness

 35th day sober. Last night I fiddled around with this computer and learned that hardly any disk space is actually being used, like 5%. But the disk drive is running ... tons. I powered it on and off a couple of times and it went into a "disk repair" mode which I left running overnight. When I got up around 2 it was done, but the disk is still running like crazy and the computer is slow as hell. 

I got going for downtown at a bit after 5. I stopped at Nijiya first and got some fried fish and a fizzy water, along with general grocery stuff. After eating my fried fish on the steps of the Issei Building I continued downtown to the Amazon place where I picked up my 3c mouthpiece and then headed back here. 

I'd left the computer doing "disk repair" and it was still doing so when I got back. It would end up doing so for about 4 hours, from about 5 to about 9PM. 

I finally got it running again but now not only is email a thing of the past but YouTube is too.

Like a drum

 34th day sober. The demolition of the old Smithfield ham site continues and the big machines are really tossing things around. So, when they drop something big, I get a vibration through the floor like I'm on the edge of a drum. Kinda cool actually. 

I messed around with Ebay things last night then about 2 in the morning decided I should just practice instead of listing anything. Since I hadn't practiced last night I went back a few pages in the book and worked through the exercises. Then I thought, I can play these on the trumpet too, and got the trumpet out. 

Frankly, it seems to be about the same effort to play the same thing on clarinet or trumpet. Spit valves are disgusting but slimy reeds would like a word. And even though a place on my lip had peeled I think I sounded fine, especially for someone who hasn't practiced for months on end. 

I started to think about *how* I'd been practicing when I was reaching my goal of playing to high C and a bit above, and I was basically grinding away at the same exercises out of some book, and making it more exercise than fun. It was a fine method for achieving the goal I'd set out for myself but not good for actually enjoying playing the trumpet. 

I would settle down to practice, get out the book of exercises, grind away on them, then play a few tunes to finish up; generally the same damn tunes because it was all I could think of, then put everything away. Then I'd generally watch some stuff on YouTube and there'd be some music in it or I'd think of something I wanted to play but the trumpet was all put away etc. 

There's the anecdote that George Harrison would even play the guitar on the toilet, and whether that was true or not the idea was he played guitar a lot. It wasn't just a matter of taking it out of the case for an hour a day for him. He spent a lot of time with it in his hands or nearby, ready to pick up and try out some tune he thought up or had heard somewhere. 

Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull is supposed to be this way also. Some (including the owner of West Valley Music) call him a "prodigy" but he's said himself in interviews that he has flutes all over his house to play any time. 

My point is, I think I need to do a lot more "fun" playing. Drills and exercises are great, but just doing those is both tiring and "tightening". 

I went on Amazon and ordered one of those trumpet stands not to take busking with me but to have around here so I can do my "must do" exercises and then just have the trumpet by my side here to pick up and play along with YouTube stuff and so on. 

Once I was done with that order, my computer started acting *really* weird. It took me close to half an hour to print out each of the shipping labels I needed to print, and my computer is in this weird mode where it's slower than usual, and I seem to have a very restricted range of areas I can go. 

Email is right out. Forget about email; I'm back to written letters or phone calls. Reddit is likewise out. Ebay works... well enough. And YouTube works. Any Blogger blog works, and Google searches seem to work. I can understand some kind of "war" between Google and Reddit, but that doesn't explain Gmail, which is owned by Google, being out. 

The annoying thing about Gmail no longer being a thing for me is it makes Amazon orders, which I can still do, a bit more complicated. I can't check any emails I get from them but fortunately I can still check on orders at the Amazon site. Hopefully my email address is still recognized by them. I can't send or receive emails with Ken or the land lord here - thank goodness the landlord sends a bill by mail as well as email.

Reddit being gone for me is even more annoying. It used to be really nice to read about what's going on downtown, or back in Hawaii, and about things in general. That's all gone now. Still, if I had to choose one, Reddit or YouTube, to keep, I'd keep YouTube because that's my access to music, local news TV stations, etc. 

It just feels weird not having an email address when I've always had one since 1997 or so. 

I did some searching around and have decided I'm going to go with the Rubank books I was considering using for clarinet so I ordered the beginner book. And I also printed out the fingering chart I'd been using (I'd given the one I had to Tom) and found another that goes up to the F above high C.

June 3 - heat wave continuing.

 33rd day sober. Up at 1:30. I was tired enough last night from doing laundry that I didn't practice. 

Today was hot, and on my way to the bank I dropped off some boxes of ibuprofen at the little free libraries, and picked up a copy of "The Good Earth" by Pearl S. Buck and "A Separate Peace" by John Knowles. Both of them are books I've wanted to read. 

The bank deposit went fine and the IRS has cashed my check for $1085 or so, so now I just wait for them to send me a bill for the additional money I'm certain I owe them. 

I went over to the Amazon place to pick up a copy of "The Art Of Clarinet Playing" and even with ordering that, I'd only spend 1/2 of my last pay check. I also got some bubble mailers of course. 

There were zombies all over the place downtown. Screaming, staggering, etc. When I left the bank to unlock my bike there was even a zombie hanging around so I got my pepper spray out even before getting my keys out, and the zombie lost interest and staggered off. St. James Park is usually pretty clear of zombies in the afternoon since the "bum feeds" are all in the morning or around noon, and they've generally gotten their food handout and whatever drugs they're going to procure for the day, and have settled down to enjoy their high or get some sleep in preparation for a sleepless night full of zombie activities. But today they were yelling and dancing around and making the park quite lively. 

I went over to Nijiya for some shopping. They hardly have bentos any more. The bentos you could just pick up were a major good thing about the place, but they seem to be almost a thing of the past now. For my "treat meal" I got a package of shrimp that were really not typical Nijiya quality but more like I've picked up in a Mexican market. My "treat meal" was a bowl of ramen from one of those kits I got, with lots of shrimp. 

Even though I'd bought vitamins at Whole Foods and some somewhat expensive sardines too, and a 6-pack of alcohol-free German beer, and got what I liked at Nijiya, I only spent a little over $60 today.

What a shame.

 32nd day sober. I not only got my Ebay listings done last night but got over an hour's practice, while watching a documentary called "Hollywoodism" which talks about the way, essentially, "Jews made Hollywood". I've watched it a couple of times before, and I guess it emphasizes how the pogrom experiences of the Jewish founders of Hollywood got translated into the dramas of so many Westerns and Hollywood movies in general, right up to the recent "Independence Day". But just as much, shows like "Mayberry, R.F.D." was a Jewish creation, with Mayberry being like one of the little old towns, a schtetl, where everyone knew each other and cared about each other. 

I got some squeaks, but I'd say I barely know how to make the proper embouchure at this point and I worked on that. So if I got a squeak, I re-formed my embouchure and most of the time the squeak was then gone. I also had some fun making those really high, piercing notes because they're fun! I did pages 18 and 19 in the book. 

I went to sleep about 6AM and had the weirdest dream where I was ripping around all over town on a motorcycle that most closely resembled my old Yamaha SRX-6 but had some aspects of some of the modern re-makes of classic British bikes too - like electric start and a fancy little green neutral light. I was riding around and fell in with some other riders, thinking they'd lead me at least most of the way home, but they were going to Seattle or someplace, and I said in incredulity, "Seattle??" and headed out on my own in the general direction of home. 

There were a lot of cool details too but I woke up feeling ashamed, that I spent so much time and energy when I was younger messing around with motorcycles when I could have been learning a musical instrument. 

I packed up things that had to go out today and was headed out at 6:20 with my 15 packages. The post office and FedEx drop-offs went fine, and I stopped at Baba's and got a gyro which I ate over at the robot place. I'd just finished when a bum rode up on a bike, said "How's it going?" and I replied "Awright!" as I got my "explainer" out of the bike bag and the lanyard around my wrist. Mr Bike Bum then rode up the grass and over the berm to the bum camp on the river there. 

At the time I thought I just happened to be where he was headed from, but whether he'd come along Brokaw or along the road the entrance to the robot place is on, it makes little sense to go into the parking lot and then up the berm, so he must have seen me and thought he might have an opportunity to cause some trouble or rob me, then the "explainer" changed his mind. So (a) never be in that area without the ol' "explainer" handy, and (b) I'll have to find somewhere else to sit and eat a gyro. I'd only started using that as a picnic place because I saw someone else (who had a vehicle) do so, but it's right next to the bum camp on the river, with only a chain-link fence in between and wide open along Brokaw.

I stopped at the emergency kit place and picked up just boxes and boxes of ibuprofen and other OTC medications, which filled the box I had on the bike. Plus a couple of defibrillator things to sell on Ebay, and a few boxes to ship things in. 

I got back and started some laundry, finished the iced coffee I'd started drinking before heading out, and started an iced tea for Ken.

Mud

 31st day sober. After getting back from dealing with Tom, which was tiring and not worth it, I put some things away including clearing off another shelf to put some of the newly listed things on, ate some late dinner, and then looked for something to watch while practicing. I found a movie called "Mud" which sad to say for practicing, was so good I just watched it.

The movie reminded me of how great life was as a kid, owning nearly nothing, and just going around doing kid stuff. In the movie the kids do some pretty grown-up stuff but still their lives were very simple. Just like when I was a teen, and had my surfboard, some fishing stuff, and that was about it. And for that matter a lot of the fun things to do didn't take any extra things at all. Shell collecting and finding Japanese glass floats required none. Likewise hiking up to Sacred Falls, that didn't even require shoes. Maybe a bag to bring back some mountain apples in. 

I've long noticed that really wise people try to lead very simple lives. If you look at Society's example of really un-wise people, you get the homeless living in their cluttered dumps. They collect all kinds of crap and pile it around themselves. One of the shining examples was, in fact, a guy back in Hawaii. I'd always see him along King Street from the University area to almost downtown. He had two shopping carts heaped with highly compacted trash and junk. He'd drag one some distance, go back and get the other, then drag the first one some more distance, etc. 

I guess I was kind of minimalist from early on. I remember my siblings getting all hung up about "their" toys and worried about their getting taken, so I decided I was only going to care about a few toys. Since then, I've learned to not really even care about a few toys, because everything comes and goes. Trumpet playing drove that point home for me too, because you can have the fanciest trumpet there is and if you can't play well because you've not built yourself up with practice, you're still going to sound like hell. And a good player with a student horn will run circles around you.