Last night, I had about a mug and a half of sake, with plenty of ice. I went to bed around 5, and woke up too early, maybe 8 or 9, so I got up, had a small cup of sake, and went back to sleep until around noon, lay in bed and went back to sleep and had a weird dream, then up at 2.
Again it was kava for "breakfast" and I think it did steady me out.
I finished my tax paperwork and made out the check and made sure everything was in the proper order in the envelope, weighed it and put on stamps, etc. So that was ready to go.
I took off around 5:20, with a bunch of packages I could carry on the bike without the trailer. And that all-important tax return package in a large manila envelope. I dropped everything off just fine, with one package going to FedEx, and after dropping that off, I got an idea. I was going to go to the curry place and get goat curry like I did the first time there. It's filling and the spinach and other sides are good. I could almost taste it ...
But being right there at H Mart, I figured I'd treat myself to something good from there and be able to ride straight for home rather than take that side-trip over to the curry place ... So I locked the bike and went in and picked out salmon sashimi, some uni, and some little rolls with vegetables etc in the center, and a peach fizzy drink with "no fat, no sugar no calories" that turned out to be really good. All that and some TP cost me a little over $40 but I was spending that or more when I was buying sake all the time.
I didn't even look for any packing materials, just rode straight back alongside Fry's which is selling off their fixtures now, and through the FedEx parking lot where I saw a young (maybe 20s?) guy riding a bike around aimlessly. He didn't look like a bum, and I though, "Hm, just a young guy riding around" but as I rode past the Indian dumpster, I saw a scruffy bike with trailer and an older bum just getting up from, it looked like, taking a dump there. That takes care of my ever visiting the Indian dumpster again... The young guy was the old bum's apprentice, or maybe his son. Time to get out of there, and I sped up and got back here post haste.
Then I treated myself to a Korean type spread. Salmon sashimi, uni rolls I made by taking the filler out of some of the rolls and putting uni in, kim chee, and some tsukimono pickles with the poked-out filler mixed in, and peach fizzy drink. It was a really good, and large, meal. A nice reward for not drinking at all today and will drink as little as possible tonight. Maybe even none.
I'm also done with Reddit. I signed out and being as bad with passwords as I am, can't go on again without some effort. It's interesting and even useful to skim the r/sanjose sub, to know what's going on locally, and r/hawaii just to keep up with the old place. But even read-only I was spending too much time on it and I realize now it was contributing to my drinking because if I'm gonna sit for hours on Reddit why not have a sip or three? I've got far better things to do.
I've had: My cheap whiskey phase, my expensive whiskey phase, my bloody Mary phase, my brandy phase, my gin and tonic phase, my good vodka (Stoli) phase, a sake phase besides this one I'm coming out of, a soju phase, a Chinese white lightning phase, then I think it was cheap vodka again ...
I got my practice done last night, and in spite of all this crazy stuff going on, I *am* making progress.
I'm coming around to appreciating how long it will take to get good. For instance, when I moved here to San Jose I'd been a bike rider, off and on, for years. But there was still a lot to learn. I used to have trouble transporting food in a bag hanging off of the handlebar, almost got his by left-turning drivers a few times, and I guess my riding wasn't as smooth as it is now.
From now until I can go back to Hawaii I'll be learning the basics. Then I guess I can consider myself to be really going to school for shakuhachi in Hawaii because I should not have to work a job, other than playing it. And those two playing or practice or whatever they are, sessions a week at the Buddhist Study Center.
I'm hoping by the time I hit Hawaii, shakuhachi playing will be my "thing". And in my experience, if you have a "thing" people will often help you. Most people don't really have a "thing". They just go through life, turning the crank. They wish they had a "thing" and when they meet someone who has a "thing" it fascinates them, maybe makes them a bit envious too, and often they want to help. It's a form of escapism. Maybe they can't run off and be a banjo player who rides the rails, but if they flip a $20 to the banjo player who rides the rails they meet, there's a feeling like, "Go get 'em for me" and perhaps also, "Maybe this guy is independent and free, but he's able to to it because of guys like me".
Kinda like the old joke: A wealthy lady who had paid well to attend a violin concert was at the afterward wine and cheese thing and gets to talk to the violinist. "I'd give my life to be able to play like that." she said. He replied, "Actually, I did."
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