Up around 2. I got my copy of "Unfamiliar Fishes" out and read it, partly in bed until around 5 or 6 then at my desk. It's a pretty good book. Then I realized I was almost out of vodka but didn't want to go all the way downtown so after procrastinating a fair amount I decided I'd just ride up to the gas station on 1st by the Denny's which has a lot of wines and get some wine.
So I rode up there and there was a sketchy looking bum who came up and had a look in the trash can, and I asked him if he wanted something from inside, and he said, "Something to eat..." so I went in and scouted around. All the wine was done, replaced by more types of chips and small snacks like that. So I went back out, and gave the bum a $1 bill I had, "My last dollar" and we complained a bit about prices, "$10 for a happy meal" he said, and I observed that it's long been cheaper to eat at the Denny's than at the McDonald's across the street. He asked which was downtown was, and I told him and that the light rail will take him right there, and that I've never seen fare cops on there at night so he should be able to ride for free, but if he sees them, he should run for it because none of them can run very well.
I rode down 1st and over to Taylor and to TAK Market where I got two bottles of "Manage a' Trois Midnight" red blend and a package of hot dogs. I just didn't feel like cooking. That ran me $31 which just illustrates how expensive it can be running low on vodka, or needing/wanting vodka in the first place.
I rode back here and heard the sound of a trumpet as I came in. The Mr. Softee employees have a party going on and even had a live mariachi band play some numbers. It was great - violins, trumpet, singing. Now the band's gone and they just have recorded music and dancing. I got settled in back here and had a few cold hot dogs with "Dusseldorf" mustard that comes in a little mug, and of course some wine.
My attempt to move back to Hawaii in 2003 had been a real disaster. Firstly, the only way to get out of the debt I'd built up would have been to drop off of the grid and I was not prepared to do so at the time. I didn't have the skills. Ironically, the panhandling technique that came in handy after the 2008 crash, what I call "walking panhandling" but is actually called "crack spanging" by those expert in such things, is a skill I learned in Waikiki. I was walking along and happened to be going the same way, at the same speed, as this guy who was, well, crack spanging. And he was making serious money.
I'd rented an apartment for $600 a month which is a lot of money. I thought I needed all that room because I was going to do jewelry like my older sister did, not exactly the same way but scrimshaw and shells and stuff, and thought I needed a dedicated work bench and so on. It turned out what I was able to do could be done out of a shopping bag while sitting under a tree in the park. So I had a $600 a month rent to pay plus some utilities, had decided I needed a car also so I had to maintain that thing and pay for parking, and my main way to make money was Ebay which was exactly what I wanted to get away from. And if I didn't keep up with my huge debt payments I could say Goodbye to Ebay. It was a huge catch-22 all around. And I was not prepared to "swim like a fish in the sea of the people" as Mao put it.
I'm older now and if not wiser can I hope to say at least less foolish? I'm scared to death to move anywhere until I'm 62 so I'd have the lifeline of Social Security. And I've learned tons about hustling, making little handicrafts for donations or of course, I've learned a little bit more about busking. In 2003 I was scared to death of what people would think if I played music on the sidewalk in Waikiki. It took me forever to get up the guts to get out there, and now it's very natural. I still need years of practice, four of them to be precise, to practice but now I have no compunctions about playing music on the sidewalk in Waikiki. Just get out there and "geev 'um".
In '03 things did not go well. I lasted 4 months and in the 07/08 crash I talked with my older sister about going back, and it didn't go well. Bad things were said, although thinking back those bad things were pretty mild. I believe I said something like, "Fuck you and your Punahou" and that's pretty trivial, except that having gone to Punahou is about all she's got. And dammit, I'm glad she went to Punahou. She's the oldest so that kind of makes sense although if my father had the money he'd have sent us all there. And Punahou may have saved her life - she has bad migraines and could not hack it in the working-class world like the rest of us could, so she needed that Punahou network more than the rest of us. I really hope that if I get back we can hook up again and I can apologize.
But a Seriously Good Plan(tm) would be to have enough cash on hand to pay for a place to live for 6 months or a year in advance when I make the move. 4 months is not enough. Maybe a year is not enough, but it's better than 4 months. I just need to have the rent paid, I can always feed myself. That's what busking taught me. I can always pay for my food and a bus pass. I've also looked into things like WWOOF'ing which is where you work on an organic farm about 20 hours a week and you get room and board and often some pocket money. I saw a quite tempting one involving taking care of chickens in Punalu'u. Since some of my formative years were spent in Punalu'u and I've kept some pretty scientific chickens, it could be a good fit. But am I to take care of chickens, or make music? Just about anyone can learn to take care of chickens.
Well, back to progress if there is any. I did voice exercises last night and sang some songs. I was thinking while riding back here tonight that if I've practiced every day consistently for a month, so up to mid-November, I'll go buy a uke. Because we'll be getting into the season for Christmas songs. I'm thinking, I might find places where I can keep distanced from people, maybe sitting up high on something or out on a balcony or something like that, so I'm maintaining "social distancing" but I'm getting experience being out in public playing.
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