200ml

OK so I drank the 200ml bottle of white liquor, but not all at one go, but most of it before bed. I actually went to bed a bit earlier and thus work up earlier, and felt pretty good when I got up.

Maybe a shot or two before bed is OK and even healthy. It's got to be healthier than the sleeping pills Ken depends on, has to have prescribed by a doctor, and are probably more expensive than a little booze. If I can keep things where it's just one shot, or a beer when out, and not more than that, that'd be great. And I've been where it was like that too. I remember being at the old shop and pouring some whiskey for Ken but not having any myself because I just didn't feel like it.

I'd been sober for a full year, and maybe that was enough time to kind of reset to zero. Over that year I've thought a lot about it and realized some things. Alcohol doesn't make you smarter, you just *feel* smarter, and in fact it can really mess up memory if you drink too much. It doesn't fix emotional problems like being sad about being in a shitty situation. It generally makes the situation worse. It can be an escape but you still have to fix the situation. "If some is good, more must be better" is not how alcohol works.

So I got up and looked around outside and the van's gone. That thing had been here as long as we've been here, and I've told Ken there's got to be some story behind it, like it's the welding guy's ex-wife's or something. I noticed yesterday they'd put what looks like the spare, onto the right front hub, and I guess they got the left one straightened out. That would make it possible for a tow truck to take it, I thought. Well, one has, with the welding guy's permission or not.

Normally on a Friday like this I'd rush to the bank to put my pay check in. But now that it's appointment-only, I'm thinking of a few different ways to handle this. One is, only go there every other week and deposit two checks at a time. Or hey, how about just making my deposits using the ATM? Isn't that kind of obvious?

I'd decided I was done with ATMs after I got shorted $20 by one in Colorado Springs right when I was pulling up stakes to go back to California and money was pretty tight. I talked with a lady at the bank and got my $20, even though I seriously think she didn't believe me.

When I got started with Ebay, I was getting all these checks in the mail and for me it just made sense to go to a teller in person. But I'm just getting one check a week, and in the 20+ years since I've touched an ATM I'm sure they've got the bugs worked out.

NPR has started running these sob stories about people who've died from the virus, "So and so was a father of 4... so and such ran a taco truck for 20 years...." I'd like to see a daily run-down of traffic deaths and maybe people would freak out over that much more vicious killer.

I had time to not only pack a bunch more small packages to take to the post office without having to use the bike trailer, and have my coffee and chocolate and walnuts, but I got in about an hour of practice, just Irons exercises, but it went fairly well. I figured it was a matter of practicing before heading out, or I'd not get it done at all, and I was right.

There's enough more traffic on the road that the drivers are following the rules and looking out for other road users and acting more normally in general. I got to the post office and the chute wasn't working, again. Not only has someone managed to tear the handle right off of it, but the side-lever thing doesn't work either, and it was jammed. So  I waited in line and when it was my turn at the counter, handed off my two bags of packages and told the guy I didn't need the bags back.

I've got to say, the sky was just beautiful with a beautiful sunset, no vivid colors but lots of subtle stuff and a real joy to look at.

I got to H Mart and got stuff, including a bottle of "lightning" which I might have 100ml of tonight. I felt pretty tired as I rode home, and it's been getting pretty cold once the sun goes down - an effect of clean air. Didn't run into any bums and I'm glad I got my practice in early, because now, when it's quiet and the Mr. Softee guys have closed up for the night, the nightly "dance of the crackheads" around their junk cars has started. Just the kind of people I don't want to make sure are good and reminded I'm in here.