More financial instability

 Woke up at 3, got some good sleep I guess except crazy dreams. I stayed within my "beer budget" which right now is 2 small bottles of Guinness and 6 cans of Lagunitas IPA (not the "little sumpin' sumpin' which is a bit higher in alcohol content) and I think  I want to go to where I'm having 1-2 small bottles of Guinness a day because I swear, drinking it is making me feel better but more than that is just excess.

This way when I'm back in Hawaii even if I live in a no smoking/no drinking room, I can pop into a bar and have a pint if I've had a good say busking. 

So yes I woke up at 3 in the afternoon, and looked at the .. drops falling down. Still raining. In fact a particularly heavy downpour came through. 

Last night I'd photographed 30 things and listed 10 of them then kind of ran out of steam and called it a night. Today I am greeted by an email from the landlord ... we owe 'em something like $1004.95. They actually used Gemini which got the math a bit wrong, they come up with $1004.97 and I calculated it and got $1004.42 but ... I count money like an engineer, not an accountant and I'm not going to bring it up. 

They want Ken to drop by their office with a check by Friday. I'm nervous because I've got the paycheck Ken had dropped off Friday night, and want to deposit it but it's really rainy and stormy out there. It's supposed to clear up tomorrow in the afternoon, and I plan to get that check into the bank as soon as I can because Ken does things moment by moment, financially speaking. If I don't deposit the check, Ken will assume the money's still in his bank and something will bounce - either the check to the landlord or my check. 

I wrote to my pal Pat in Pahoa, not that I want to come stay with him, but just as someone to talk to and also he might know some people back on Oahu. I need to write to a couple of people too. Email is not reliable these days, but the US mail is still working.  

The way things are going, I'm leaving anywhere from mid-September of this year to mid-September of next year. If we're kicked out when our lease ends on August 31st, Ken's going to go into "frantic mode" and I don't want to be around for that.  I'll go stay in a hotel, finish off my final affairs and buy plane tickets, and leave. 

So between now and August 31, I need to sell off everything I don't need, get a good set of luggage, set up an account with the Navy Federal Credit Union because they're in Hawaii and here in SF, and I will use them for my Social Security check to go into. Once I've got my Real ID done, I'll set my present bank to stop sending me physical bank statements because I never read 'em anyway, and their main use is as something proving I live at my present legal address. 

I'm really hoping I can arrange to "land" with someone in Hawaii. Pat was trying to arrange that with our friend Dave but Dave turned out to be useless. But he may know other people. Otherwise the good old Waikiki Monarch it is. 

I don't know what's changed in Ken's finances to make things so difficult lately. I've theorized it's the new SUV his wife bought, but if she bought it with her own money then that's not it. But another thing has come to mind: Home insurance has spiked recently. That could easily have risen by a thousand or more per month. I suppose it doesn't matter what's made Ken's finances shaky, only *that* they are shaky and I need to base my actions on that. 

I have thought long and hard about just staying here. I'd not have the moving expenses I have been saving for and thus would have a good "nut" in the bank. There's a plethora, there I said it, plethora, of busking locations. The weather by and large is very healthy (it's the lower humidity and on average it's cooler than the weather in Hawaii). I'd still have Ken and Suzy as friends, although at their ages they could blow away in the wind in soon. 

But there's an underlying thing that's been lurking like a whale below the surface. I'm not local to here. I'm not even local to Orange County down South, and certainly not to Los Angeles county, even if I was born there. People talk about where they want to high school, places their worked their first jobs, things they saw changing, all those things that give you a sense of the history of your home, and I feel none of that here on the mainland. My schools, my college time, jobs, places I lived growing up, different experiences, are all on the dear old island of Oahu. 

There's an excellent discussion on Reddit about this, something like "Growing up haole" and it seems like being local, local-ness, matters much more now, and race, while still always very important and life-defining anywhere in the US, isn't the only consideration. Being local is things like going to school there, preferably during your formative years, knowing the local places, knowing the local cuisine, etc. Being local is not having A/C and never thinking about missing it. It's knowing all the bus lines. It's knowing how to live without a lot of money, because most of the local people never had money and a huge portion of them came over as plantation workers. 

It's things like body language, tones of speech, even what I'll call "eye language". In Japanese culture there's a great emphasis on being able to "read the air" and this has carried over to Hawaii local culture. This is what can get you pegged as Haole, as in mainland non-local haole. There's a huge sense of entitlement with those types, that I've seen even here on the mainland with regard to Hawaii. 

I'm not sure how to describe this, but two notable examples: One, a nice younger guy who rides a cargo bike and I've met several times by the bike racks at Whole Foods. I made the mistake of mentioning perhaps retiring back to Hawaii where I'd grown up, and I wish I could recall his exact words, but the feeling was something like, "You'd better not screw up my portion of Hawaii". I stopped mentioning Hawaii at all around him. The second example is the guy who owns "Skewers And Brew" downtown. I mentioned going back to Hawaii and he immediately sort of demanded information from me, where should he live on Oahu that's high-end, where his wife can do her shopping trips etc. I said they'd like it best in Hawaii Kai or Kahala, the two most expensive parts of the island and nice and upper-end. It was his demanding information like he was owed a place there that was really weird. 

So, here on the mainland, not only didn't I get to talk about where my first jobs were or where I went to high school or fun things I did growing up, but I couldn't talk about where I *had* gone to high school and where/what fun things I'd done growing up. Because then I'd have to say I grew up in Hawaii and then things would get really weird.