Krasnov

 For some reason it's being suppressed, but there's some out a story, with a legit paper trail, that shows that Dirty Diaper Don was recruited as a KGB asset decades ago. 

I believe this because Dumpo's so bad with money and so greedy and crooked, that no legit bank or investor would deal with him even back in the 80s. Enter the KGB (essentially, these days, the Russian mob). We learned about this in the Army. You could not get a security clearance if you were a gambler, had debts, played around on your spouse, etc. The KGB's name for the orange retard was/is Krasnov. 

Here's the scoop on a non-US site which, presumably, will be harder for the powers-that-be to erase: https://www.kyivpost.com/post/47630

So now instead of typing in something long like "Dirty Diaper Don" I can just type "Krasnov" and be done with it. 

I've been feeling a fair amount of I guess is good old fashioned despair. It being winter, my nervousness about having to "ace" the class, the horrible politics these days, with the possibility of things getting worse, much worse. 

I was really all set to move back to Hawaii, and I was going to do is quick and slick. Get a round-trip ticket with the flight there on my birthday. Probably do a big parking lot garage sale to get rid of tons of things, have the return ticket for a month or two after my arrival (Hawaii is weird this way in that even as someone who grew up there, a lot of places won't deal with you if you don't have a return ticket). 

I'd just land in a hotel to start off, expensive but easy, and look around for a room to rent. Join the local musicians' union and get out there busking and also put lots of work into being able to reel off "Taps" or "To The Colors" etc., on a moment's notice, as Hawaii doesn't seem to have anyone who's essentially "on call" to do that. There *are* trumpeters who will sound "Taps" etc. but their fees are super high because they've got to fly over from the mainland. 

There's even a Jewish community there, although I don't know if they're a bunch of those stupid anti-Israel noodnicks or not. There have got to be some sensible ones and of course they have a Chabad. 

But all in all it's still too American a place. I have two sisters there but I don't have family there because in mainstream American culture, "family" is a word with no meaning. 

If I'd become rich somehow, they'd be crawling all over me. In fact, thinking back to what relationship I had with my older sister, the one family member I thought I was close with, said relationship was directly proportional to how much money I was making. 

For instance, when I was first out on my own, taking home about $350 a month and really scraping by, she didn't communicate with me at all. Once I was in college and presumably on track to become an electrical engineer, a well-paying profession, she then and only then wanted to be friends. 

When I moved to the mainland, everyone in Hawaii thinks that if you go the mainland you'll be hugely successful (I thought this too) and so we kept up a years-long correspondence, first with written letters and then with email. My traveling to places like Germany and Japan certainly didn't hurt, as that's what rich people do, right? It was all paid for by the sports team and I remember ordering a bowl of soup for $10 or so in Barcelona because I had only about $12 on me and hadn't gotten my per diem yet. 

Then when I got my ebay thing going, I guess I appeared very much worth being friends with, because entrepreneur yadda yadda. This ended with the crash of 2008 and when I told my older sister that I may well return to Hawaii and be homeless for a while, that ended it. She accused me of wanting to be homeless, and I tried to explain that no one wants to be. 

This is the older sister who, when I visited back in 2003 and we were driving along the main drag in Waikiki and she spotted an Asian gal trying to sell T-shirts on the sidewalk, said that gal, who looked high school age and probably was, should be put right into jail. 

On Reddit I learned about the trope of people who "peaked in high school" or "what they did in high school is their whole personality" and that's my older sister to a T. You don't have to ask her if she went to Punahou, she'll tell you and within not very many minutes. 

She says things that make her feel smart, like "The US is a republic, not a democracy" - a standard right-wing talking point. God help you if you don't pronounce some word the way she does, because she'll turn a rather pleasant conversation into a very tiring and insulting lesson on how to say this or that word or brand name the way she says it.  

She'd be considered a real intellectual, in perhaps Iowa. Once I tried talking about artists; I believe I'd just finished reading Irving Stone's book on Van Gogh and something about Renoir, and she came back with, "Well if there's anything I know, they were all sex fiends". A very Iowan thing to say. Very Middle-America, very stodgy. 

This cold is really depressing though. I'd had one good practice session then one where my tone was not as good as it ought to be and that's when I was coming down with this thing.